It has been a while since we’ve talked.

Quite frankly I haven’t known what to say. It’s not often when you catch a preacher with no words. I have started a new FDA approved treatment called Optune. Doing my research into Optune forced me to face life expectancy for those with Glioblastoma. Common results for Optune are 2-5 years additional years of life. I asked my oncologist what my life expectancy is right before going on my November break from treatment. She said at the top of the bell curve statically I could expect a year and a half.

My oncologists are very positive. They say that I have the type of cancer that is responsive to chemo. Here are some pictures of my latest MRI’s for all you doctors and radiologist out there. My oncologist fully expected what they saw. They prepared me for pseudo growth. The chemo and radiation cause swelling in the brain which can cause the tumor to look like it is growing when it is not. The tumor is the stuff in white. That is my technical doctor language. I will have my next MRI on January 5th. You can pray that we see some shrinkage in the tumor on the January 5th. Pray that I will have perseverance. The Optune treatment is much more difficult than I expected. If it can extend my life, then I am willing to go through the difficult process. It isn’t painful but it is onerous and interferes with normal life like sleep and going out in public. You know minor things like that!

Thanks to all of you who have sent the encouraging results of the Duke break throughs in treating Glioblastoma. We will leave no stone unturned. I have already had a brief chat with my doctors about the Duke trial.

I watch horse racing a few times a year. I’ll watch the Kentucky Derby, maybe Belmont or Preakness if there is the possibility of a Triple crown winner. As you look at the picture of the horses, I want you to imagine the announcer in a close race shouting, “And down the stretch we come.” The suspense is building! Who is going to win the race?

I’m in week 5 of 6 weeks of radiation and chemo. Down the stretch we come. I had been told about the side effects of chemo and radiation. At week 4, I was doing great. I was gaining weight from the steroids. I was eating like a pig. I had plenty of energy. I was working from home and loving the work I was doing.

In week 5, I met two new friends, Fatigue and nausea. These two tough guys kicked my butt. I was told about them, but under estimated how tough they are. Think of Mike Tyson, the two toughest MMA fighters or baddest bouncers at bars. Of course you never go to bars!! Good thing there is Zofran for nausea. It really helps. A good nap helps with the fatigue. I’m still not able to sleep through the night. They have prescribed some sleep medication to help with my sleep during the night. It’s helping some.

Prayer Requests: 

I. Less fatigue and more energy

2. Less nausea

3. Uninterrupted sleep through the night

4. Treatments would be successful and the Glioblastoma would shrink

5. Fruit of the Spirit from the passenger seat. (Galatians 5:22-23)

I rarely ride in the passenger seat of the car. Some men have their wives chauffeur them around. I don’t understand how they can do that. I want to be control. Maybe that tells you more about me than you need to or want to know. I’m having to learn how to be at peace in the passenger seat. I can’t control the outcomes of this cancer treatment. God is at the wheel, and I must trust him and rest in him from the passenger side. 

I don’t understand why God does what he does, but Matthew 28:29-31, and the song Jireh have brought me such comfort as I ride in the passenger seat, and God has the wheel.

Sometimes knowing too much about the Bible doesn’t help. It hurts. I’ll let you inside the head of a theologian. There is some cancer in there too, but here are some thoughts that I have. God why did you allow this? I know the theological answer as to why there is cancer and evil in the world. Evil exists because God is a loving God that gave humans freedom. For love to be love it cannot be forced. It must be free. Adam and Eve freely rejected the authority and rulership of God and with that sin, evil came into being. There was also cosmic rebellion in the divine realm where elohim rejected the authority and rulership of God. (Genesis 3, Psalm 82) I don’t believe cancer is from God. It is a result of the fall. I also know that God is all powerful and in control of the universe. (Colossians 1) There is nothing He can’t do, but there are so many people that I have prayed for as a pastor that have suffered and died. I know that God is good and can do anything, but will he? I don’t stay in those questions for long because they don’t help, and they ultimately can’t be answered. There is a reason that God is God, and I am not!!  Where else would I go for comfort and direction in my life? John 6:68 Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

According to Romans 8:28 God works all things together for the good. It doesn’t say that all things are good. Maybe we don’t have the right perspective on our pain. Maybe God cares more about our maturity, our faith than he does about our circumstances. Maybe it is our circumstances that deepens our faith.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

1 Peter 1:6-7 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuinenessof your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

1 Peter 4:12-13 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. ¹³ But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

There is purpose in our pain. God is refining my faith through this trial. Riding in the passenger seat, l’m learning how to trust God more than ever. I am praying for the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23) to be manifested as I ride in the passenger seat. I’m not always patient, gentle or kind while barking out orders from the passenger seat.

Through this trial riding in the passenger seat, l’m learning how to trust God more than ever. I am praying for the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23) to be manifested as I ride in the passenger seat. I’m not always patient, gentle or kind while barking out orders from the passenger seat. Help me Holy Ghost!

I feel like the kid on the rollercoaster in this picture. It has been a scary week for me where I have allowed my mind to go to scary and dark places. My liver enzymes were elevated and a liver ultrasound was ordered. I have seen Karen have ultrasounds with all the pregnancies and now I have had an ultrasound. They have heated ultrasounds now.

This week kind of knocked the wind out of my sails. Worry won! Some of the fatigue that they warned me about has set in from the first four weeks of radiation.

It is not the easiest thing in the world for me to be so dependent. I can’t drive so I am dependent on others to chauffeur me. I’m not used to being on the  passenger.

Here’s how you can pray for me: 

1) Pray Isaiah 26:3 

2) Pray John 14:27 and John 16:33

3) Pray for joy (Philippians 3:1; 4:4)

4) Pray for Fruit of the Spirit in the passenger seat (Galatians 5:22-24)

5) Of course pray for radiation and chemo to work, shrinking the glioblastoma 

While sitting down to write this treatment update, I received a notice on my Mayo portal that my test results were ready. I took a deep breath and opened the portal and clicked on “tests,” and this message popped up: 

 Dr. Sherman reviewed the ultrasound and advises:

“Ultrasound was unremarkable and his repeat liver function test came back within normal limits. Nothing further to do at this time.” 

I’m relieved and that’s certainly good news. Now the only thing I need is for LSU to beat Ole Miss. Geaux Tigahs. My Tigahs win or lose do bring me joy for a few hours on Saturday, but  football doesn’t really matter that much in the grand scheme of things!

What do you think of when you think of the life of the guards at Buckingham palace? I think of routines, regimentation and precision. My life has turned into a very rigid routine. When I wake up, the morning routine is taking a very carefully calibrated steroid and anti-seizure medication. I have some freedom for the rest of morning after taking my medications, but at 2:00 pm my routines start all over. I take an anti-nausea medication at 2:00 p.m., and from this point on until 5:00 p.m. I can only drink water. At 3:00 pm I take my chemo pill.

The next part of the routine is a 10 minute trip to Mayo for my treatment and various appointments. I check in to the radiation waiting room, and between 3:45-4:00 pm. I am taken back for radiation. They put a mask on me that is like a hockey goal tenders mask. I climb on a table, and they radiate my brain. How long do you think radiation lasts? It is surprisingly short. It seems no longer than 5 minutes most days.

After radiation I head home for my night time ritual of medications. Because of the steroids, I am very hungry, and I am eating like a bear and gaining weight. I’m into the 190’s now. My son jokes with me and says I’m getting into nose tackle weight range! I am happy that I am being weaned off the steroids. I have one more week at 1mg of steroids. This should help with my voracious appetite and my difficulty sleeping.

Prayer Requests:

1. I have started to experience some pain in my knees and ankles, and strangely, it is not consistent. It makes me feel just a little wobbly on my feet. Pray that this pain goes away.
2. I am still not getting great sleep through the night. Pray for consistent, long periods of sleep at night.

Routines and Your Relationship with God: I’m not usually a routine kind of guy. I am spontaneous and kind of make things up as I go each day. In this season, I have learned the value of routines. Here’s a few thoughts on routines and our relationship with God.

God doesn’t want a routine relationship with you, but routines can help you have a great relationship with God. If prayer and reading the Bible and going to church just become a box you check on your things to do list, then you’ve missed the point of the routine. Routines can be meaningful moments of meeting with God to worship Him, to pour out your heart to Him, to learn the promises and commands of His Word. But if we’re not careful, routines can turn into boring “have to’s” that don’t help us have a relationship with God.

 Matthew 15:7-8

You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy about you, by saying:

⁸ ‘This people honors Me with their lips,
But their heart is far away from Me.

What God wants most is your heart. Whatever routine helps you connect with God, feel closer to God is the right routine. There is no one size fits all routine for intimacy with God. I have a friend who takes walks in nature which helps him meet with God. Others meet with God through listening to worship music. I don’t do devotionals books, but if that works for you great. I use the Lord’s Prayer to guide my time with God. I start with praising God. I worship Him for who He is. I hallow his name. I spend time thanking him for my daily bread and all his blessings in my life. Routines aren’t bad as long as they don’t turn into ruts!!