Most of life’s storms are unexpected. Yesterday I continued into this unexpected storm with my first day of chemo and radiation. I had some scare as I entered into the unknown. How would my body respond to chemo? Even with the anti-nausea medication (Zofran) would I vomit? Would I have an appetite? I never like MRI tubes so I was a little worried about what 15-20 minutes of radiation would be like? How would it affect me? I was told to expect fatigue at some point. So as you can see, I was a little anxious about my first treatment. My son who is a doctor, 3rd year resident, came in from Gainesville to take me to my first treatment which gave me a lot of comfort.
To my surprise when I entered the radiation room, there was no MRI tube. My simulation treatment was in an MRI tube, but this radiation room was very open. There was a bed and what looked like two panels on the side above the bed and one panel directly above my head. Once on the table, they put my Hannibal Lectur, Silence of the Lambs mask, on me or for you hockey fans my goalie mask. They asked me if I wanted any music, and I asked for Elevation worship music. Again to my surprise they said they had it. I thought they would put head phones on me, but with my lovely Lectur mask that was not possible. They cranked up Elevation worship music in the room and gave me the room for my treatment. Nothing that I had expected happened in the way I envisioned my treatment would look like and feel like.
In the middle of my treatment with just me and my mask and radiation and worship, I had an experience with God. Tears came to my eyes. The presence of God was almost palpable. This doesn’t happen to me often. Throughout my treatments, I have prayed the Lord’s Prayer, Philippians 4:6-7 and meditated on Psalm 23 and Romans 8 during all my MRI’s, CAT scans, PET scans, but this was different. I worshipped in my spirit. I never in a million years thought I could feel this kind of calm in the storm. God was powerfully present, and he ministered to me in the depths of my soul. While I didn’t sing out loud, I cried out in my spirit. God was as close as my very breath.
I am very thankful that my first day of treatment went so well. Today I’ll be back at it at 3:45 pm EST. I’ll take anti-nausea at 2:00 pm, chemo at 3:00 pm. Then I’ll head to Mayo around 3:20 for my 3:45 appointment. I’ll look forward to watching my LSU Tigers at 12:00 EST on Saturday with my family. We’ll worship together on Sunday watching online. I’ll take anti-nausea and chemo on the weekend following my regular schedule. Please pray for my Monday blood test that my platelets will have increased above 100. Thanks for going on this journey with me and praying for me and my family. We need you!